A torrential downpour of anguish and solitude, an eternity of darkness is all I've that I've known, but with her there is something greater, warmer and brighter. She sees me, the real me where no one else can. She finds me in the abyss of my soul, and warms me with her light. Though she is not without her own darkness and pain, she understands mine and forgives it- I'm not a monster in her eyes. And her eyes, her heavenly eyes that draw me in to her soul, her warmth and feel that draw me into her heart, and her words and actions that draw me into her mind. She's beautiful without the disaster, and she wants all that I am, even the parts from which I would want to protect her.

I love who I am and can be when I'm with her, and how she makes me feel. More than that I love how I make her feel, how happy I make her and will continue to make her happier than she's ever been. I'm undeserving of this angel in disguise but I cannot lose her, she's too precious and amazing to lose. And as unworthy as I may be, she's more than worthwhile and deserving of someone that is right for her, someone that will show her how amazing she is and love her as hard and deeply as she deserves to be loved. This universe is full of mystery and wonder but in all of it, I know one thing more than any other, and that is how much I want her and want to be with her, being by her side and being everything I can be to her. She deserves nothing lesser than my best, and letting her down is not an option.

This beautiful rose of mine has met those in her past that mishandled her and damaged her lovely petals, bent her stem and didn't give her what she needed to flourish, but I know better. The little cracks in some of her petals, the bend in her stem, the thorns she grew to protect herself, although worn and not dangerous still needs to be respected, admired. In the past damage that changed her, it's really only made her more beautiful, more real and more precious. I want to tend to her, take care of her and be what she needs and help her flourish where she was deprived of that in the past. For all my flaws and fallacies, I know true beauty when I see it and I know how to appreciate the real things, the things that matter the most.

And this rose of mine, I'm going to love this rose more than she's ever been loved, even if it's the only love she's ever known. My rose will know love when the time is right for her and she will know it to be real and true and deep, just as she deserves. My rose is special, and she's the most beautiful rose that I've ever seen, the most genuine and precious rose, unlike any other. The only rose I want. She breathes new life into me, yet she also takes my breath away. I love her beauty and perfections, as much as I love her flaws and imperfections. She's perfectly imperfect and imperfectly perfect to me, and I wouldn't change or trade her for the world.

She's my beautiful Rose in the dark, my one truest love of all. My heart, soul and mind are hers.

~Nigrum Rosa Mea~
© A. Z. Fiennes