I didn't know I liked her that much
I really didn't.
I knew but I didn't I thought it was dying but no it wasn't;
It was simply quiet...

Not until I shut the door.
Then it raged and it
Cried.
I cried.
It may seem purely sexual but that was our most intimate times.

She is in a committed relationship
I am committed to the facade of us I have built in my head.
So when it all came crashing because of a kind act of friendship, I felt like a fool
With nothing to fall back on and no hope for the future:
Our future.

When I showed her the power which she held could be wielded to serve her better
I was shooting myself in the heart.
And it was after I realized.

I had given her the permission to love unabashedly, without remorse, without the fear she carried.

But we know that the love is not for me.
I am the thing that causes a dent in her great love.

I won't be anymore.
Just for her sake.

© Olatona Fortune I.