how do you fall out of love with someone
how do you move on and forget them?
after you've repeated the same mistake
of loving over and over again
after they've ripped your heart out
time and time again
how do you stop going back to them?
how do you pick up your broken heart
even though they kept stumping on it?
is this how it's suppose to be?
to give your all and get nothing back in
return
to stay in your skin while you help them
shed theirs, while you help them become
a better person?

how do you stop loving the one that hurt you,
is it a superpower i do not possess?
i know i'm a terrible student, but was it a class
that i failed to attend?
i kept loving even though all i got back was
ghosting, stonewalling, gaslighting
and all sort of terrible gifts
when i had wrapped my heart, and give to them
i wrapped up a beautiful box filled with love, and
goodness, i gifted them my soul, and affection
she was my muse, but i'm nothing but a pathetic
love starving person to her
mine was just another heart to break, to her
what a shame! what a shame!!
it is indeed a shame!

what's the point of giving someone half love
when you have the whole thing to spare
perhaps you were sharing it with another person
that would be unfair! i said
but, life is unfair, you replied
that was when i knew, that it was all a joke
all along
it was all a charade for you, an act
you should win an Oscar or something
you're a great actress, i give you that
i'm mad at myself.


© Steph