Again its the night time
When I'm all by myself
A Familiar ceiling at the top
Strange feelings and some weird thoughts
All these and
I'm just
Lying on bed
my hand is covering
The top of my head
Clock ticks
As I kept feeling the continuity of my breath
Thinking who am I?
I am myself
But all this time
I pretend to be someone else
But what this?
Now, i don't feel to be myself
Something is wrong,what?
Don't know
Screaming for help
But no one came
So I keep running away, why?
Because i'm scared
I'm scared of failure
I'm scared of getting hurt
I'm scared of getting rejected
I'm scared of losing myself
I'm scared of taking the first step
Even if somehow I manage to initiate
Will I able to continue my struggle,
Will I able to suffer all my pain
Will I able to not to regret over the decision I made
Will my existence vanished just like that or
Will I able to make a move for change
Am I capable of moving forward?
Am I capable of leaving my comfort range?
While Thinking these stupid things
There's a little smile on my face
in the end
Sure, my heart overflowed with sorrow
But I keep explaining one thing to me
That its okay for me to be ME
And then I head to one of my weird dream
Where I can be ME, it seems.


© KP