ITS BEEN FIVE YEARS NOW,
FIVE YEARS OF INSUFFERABLE PAIN AND TORMENT,
FIVE YEARS OF LINGERING DEMONS TELLING ME HOW,
I SHOULD KILL MYSELF,
BUT I DIDNT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEANT.

YES, I KNOW HOW ONE GOES ABOUT THE ACT OF KILLING THEMSELVES,
HOWEVER, IT WAS MORE OF A BOTHER REALLY.
I WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT ADDING MORE BOOKS TO MY SHELVES.
YES, I ADMIT, I SHOULDNT HAVE BRUSHED IT OFF ALL WILLY NILLY.


IT WAS AROUND THE THIRD YEAR THAT I NOTICED A CHANGE,
I WAS MORE RESERVED, LESS ENTHUSIASTIC, I WAS OFTEN IN MENTAL DISARRY.
I WOULD KEEP MY HEAD DOWN AND WALLOW IN MY SELF DOUGHT, TO ME EVEN THE THOUGHT OF SOCIALISING MADE ME WANT TO DIG OUT, THE CONTENTS OF MY STOMACH,YES FLUSH IT ALL OUT.

WHEN I WAS BUT A YOUNG GIRL, I WAS ALWAYS WILLING, ALWAYS PARTICIPATING.
I WAS ON EVERY TEAM AND IN EVERY PERFORMANCE.
I WAS A STAR FOREVER BASKING,
IN MY WELL EARNED SPOTLIGHT, NOW NOTHING TO ME BUT A VAGUE ACQUAINTANCE IT REMAINS A VADING MEMORY OF THE PAST, BECAUSE, AS WE ALL KNOW NOTHING GOOD EVER LASTS.
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