I watch, as the spiral internalizes control
Dragging me down, into the deep, dark, hole
Crawling, scratching, screaming in tears
Strangled by desolate darkness, with no company other than my fears

Tossed into the harsh realities of life,
I endure constant sleepless nights
Perpetually exhausted and unable to focus
My insecurities are intense, so I swallow the toxins of the lotus

Empathetic to a fault, concealing my feelings in a bottle
Opening up is a nightmare, so I write my feelings out like a novel

I exist solely for others, fueled off socialization
Forever absorbing the distraction of constant conversation
Adaptive and perceptive, a master of disguise
I’ve erased my originality, allowing a new darkness to arise

We may be close, you may be a friend
Regardless, I’m not going to tell you in the end
Always a burden, always a pain,
These are the things circulating in my brain

Away from my scarring flesh the blood descends
Enraptured by an inevitable desire for life to end
A girl in pieces, barely surviving each day
Wishing I could simply perish and melt away

I am stained glass, all broken and cut up
Bleeding with too many colors, a dangerous volcano about to erupt
And although I’ve completely uncovered the puzzle of my mind
I still can’t escape the endless impulse for suicide


© VeyaRaya