I lay in bed at the end of the night, my heart beating fast with pain and sorrow.

I’m giving up on myself and all I want to do is stop the pain. It hurts like being stab in the middle of the chest.

I can’t do anything to stop the anger and to stop all this stupid feeling that I don’t want to feel.

I see my self in the mirror and it turns dark, all I can see is my broken soul trying to breathe, and be at peace.

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up and just close my eyes and forget about people I love.

Cause the love that I show is not the love that I got there was no love enough to be who I am, but I still try. I smile and give hugs and kisses, but deep inside, I’m all the time screaming, waiting to die.

But I cant die, I have people I love, expecting things from me, but I can barely live in my skin. I cant tell if I’m still alive or I’m already dead.

All I know is that I have a mom that I love, siblings that I miss, cousins that need me and a live I cant live.


© Julian Claudio-Morales