(Taken from my Poetizer Soloheart. My only poetic anthology so far.)
A continuing saga of one mans journey through through life, a saga with a pluethora of emotions of his mental sufferings, how is heart inside has a love deep, from WITHIN to share in this present age.

(Pt 1) written while in a severe manic but stable episode:

WITHIN

I Can’t find myself deep from

WITHIN

The chaos of life contained from

WITHIN

Pressure is locked in deep from

WITHIN

Strife crashing in all around from

WITHIN

No choice but to look deep from

WITHIN

Am locked from the outside from

WITHIN

Safe for my clear mind deep from

WITHIN

To be safe from my outside from

WITHIN

Uncertain where to start this from

WITHIN

Gods gotta kick start a soul from

WITHIN

My Savior is all I got deep from

WITHIN

To show love on the outside from

WITHIN

Locked, and Glock'd deep from

Within

Like got none left to forgive from

WITHIN

Forgive, who hurt me deep from

WITHIN

No one else to forgive from

WITHIN

Except for myself from deep

WITHIN

Stripped my heart blind from

WITHIN

While I was scared, for life from

WITHIN

Locked in by my sin, deep from

WITHIN

Walls falling in, crashing from

WITHIN

Wailing from pain deep from

WITHIN

Fear and trembling, taking from

WITHIN

My knees again, I ask deep from

WITHIN

Faith I ask, You give me only from

WITHIN

Many times as it takes deep from

WITHIN

Many times I wanna forfeit from

WITHIN

Strength I put as stakes deep from

WITHIN

You give me life, free grace from

WITHIN

Peace in the storm, deep from

WITHIN

Got but one life to live, give from

WITHIN

I can’t do it all alone, deep from

WITHIN

My mind is not weak from

WITHIN

The struggle is real deep from

WITHIN

Should’a done this, not from

WITHIN

Could’a done that, not deep from

WITHIN

Self inflicted whirlwind from

WITHIN

We who live this way deep from

WITHIN

Gotta stand up together from

WITHIN

Fight da struggle as one deep from

WITHIN

Our power is united above from

WITHIN

Many cords bound deep from

WITHIN

Cannot be broken at all from

WITHIN

Pain outside, at bay, deep from

Within.

One cord all on its own, from

WITHIN

Can break itself deep from

WITHIN

Cut on its own accord, from

WITHIN

Know I can’t afford deep from

WITHIN

Got but one life to live from

WITHIN

Something to share deep from

WITHIN

That calm before the storm from

WITHIN

Middle of confusion deep from

WITHIN

Its not a optical illusion, from

WITHIN

Peace in the storm, comes from

WITHIN

Draw your strength deep from

WITHIN

Many times again as you must from

WITHIN

Power outside comes deep from



WITHIN

Part 2 : Chaos of mania in my mind,

at that current time:



Can't fake the pain on the outside,

while lying to my INSIDES.

deep from WITHIN

Can't shake the nightmares even while awake, scenes play in 4k,

while my hearts at stake.

my mind,

deep from WITHIN.

Can't love to trust or trust to love,

all from the pain inflicted,

my soul, my scars,

deep from WITHIN.

Can't find the right rhyme to cover the countless hours,

lost in time,

deep from WITHIN.

Can't shake my hypersensitivities,

flashes of light,

high pitch tones,

pain in the brain,

deep WITHIN.

Best foot forward,

get up each time,

not a quitter or a EZ way outter,

just a man who loves deep from

WITHIN



Part 3) This man journey after near a half century finds his blood born family, healing a deep scar deep WITIN. (Dedicated to my birth mom, Patricia) whom I will meet in Eternity.



Within my early memories,

were hidden mysteries.

Within my heart,

a life altering,

longing fear of abandon.

I was special to you as your son.

Within your brokenness,

we were separated.

Within the separation,

days of countless fears,

turned to years,

turned to decades.

Within my heart,

still lingered that fear,

abandoned,

Two hearts torn so severe,

Within your life,

you found sobriety,

I was in my youth on a path of addictive destruction.

Within your last years alive,

you found God,

as I was in turn,

rebelling from Him,

Father and Son.

Within your heart,

you loved me so deep,

prayers spoken,

ones that sheilded me,

from the poison of the drugs as they melted my mind, and deprived my sleep.

Within,

my heart,

to you I speak,

Patty.

I have always loved you,

since I last saw you when I was a year older then two,

nothing has separated us;

not time; not life;

not strife,

not space.

Yes, my Mom, Patty, we will never meet in this flesh, but in the life hear after, from Within, His love and grace.



Part 4: My mind when my mood shifts to dissassociation:



WITHIN the pain,

love is born,

at least thats the toot of my lifes horn.

WITHIN my greatest afflictions,

love abounds fluidly without friction.

WITHIN my weakeness of my faith,

love trajects forth,

empowering my strength.

WITHIN many masks of pain I hide,

love reveals all,

and the beautifully created child inside.

WITHIN every storm of life,

whether hurricanes or typhoons,

love showers me as rain in a monsoon.

WITHIN real freindship,

love has a way of overcoming,

growing us,

in the grace of healing.

WITHIN the darkness,

love casts the purest light,

to look upon,

is sudden blindness.

WITHIN my lifetime,

I will write this saga,

part by part,

straight from my heart,

with love from deep

WITHIN










© SoloHeart