I really admire you,
because you have a dream to give up on.
You have something you're holding-on to
and you can let go of it on a heart's whim.
And I don't.
And I want you to understand
how fortunate you are.
To be holding on to something
To be climbing a place
where you can see the peak,
to be so excited about
what's behind the curtains
once they're drawn,
to feel your heart lurch forward
looking forward to everyday
doing things you love.
I don't have that.
I might have had it once,
but maybe, I let go too fast,
too fast that I can't recall the feelings
I once held on to.
Right now, all my days are blank,
Right now, today will just be another tomorrow,
Right now, there is no difference between
the sunrise and sunset,
Right now, my soul
has escaped this body.


—Pender, Olive