Before I ever started high school
I grew up as an only child
used to be spoiled ever since birth,
due to the lack of self-sufficient
I usually was a child
who didn't have experience
of doing things on my own,
whatever both of my parents
usually was busy.
My mom just hired a lot of
nannies to look after me,
mostly my parents take turns looking after me,
all my life I had been quiet and a
obedient little girl.
I have been positive
in my childhood days
most important of all,
I grew up not as soft-hearted
I had been blindly influenced by
older people in my life,
to the point where I
didn't realize who I am.
On top of that,
didn't realize I was
diagnosed with life-long birth
condition ever since I was born,
ever since I was a child
I had been blending in
well with neurotypicals.
The way I behaved relates to,
how neurotypicals usually behave
because of the way I imitate
other neurotypicals
that explains where I get my
popularity from.
My high school experience,
start from my freshman year
in the beginning people in my
high school desperately to be my friend,
that includes my high school crush.
Due to my divergent mind,
didn't understand he only
want to be my friend,
he wasn't romantically interested in me.
Before I ever met my high school crush,
I usually was busy with a lot of volunteer
jobs in between classes and after school,
had been busy with so much choir-loaded
things to do usually volunteer in food charity
use to gardening in a cemetery.
My high school experience,
in my Sophomore year
was when I first met
my high school crush,
at first, he wants to be my friend.
He just didn't see me romantically
but I didn't see it that way,
all my life, never had a relationship or
had anyone dated me before
not even when I start high school,
all I ever experienced was being
told to let go and move on or being
rejected or discriminated against.
How can I let go or move on that easily
when I have experience of being trapped
in my high school days?
just not remember being treated unfairly or
being cyberbullied,
my high school bad experience
follow me in my Transition Program
that was when people in that program
see me as a bad person,
that was my high school experience
terrified of what would happen if
I had an introverted person
romantically interested in me.
I had been afraid of being dated,
my autistic boyfriend
because I might make,
the same mistakes I have
since high school.
That is my childhood and
high school experience
shaped me into who I am.

-Laura So

© LauraGemini