Is it another day for rain
melodramatic as it sounds
it's a day of pain
but it's just an exaggeration
born from mental intimidation
Against my better judgement
woke up today on a mission
dressed in my Friday best
work clothes equipped with jeans
oooo spicy and fresh!
Pff! yeah, right
all to inflate my head
a hot air balloon
the red monkey baffoon
allowing myself to fail in my pointless endeavors
hoping for a good day, even ok at best
but I'm already dreading the worst
it's all in my head of course
it's me, my readers
you know the magic word
sing it in acapella if you know the verse
anxiety
the vampire strikes again
this time more prevalent
causing imbalance and indifference
because I showed Talia the entries of before
I didn't know what the day had in store
but the bad part about being a writer
whose all alone
who will you bear your soul to
and having done it for paper audiences
in your own mind, in auditoriums of thought bubbles alike
and every single charade
you feel the need to share every simple thing even when you don't want to reveal your full deck
in this life of cards
I showed my aces
and she let me in a little more
showing me her family
it was unspoken, knowing what I wrote echoed her
it went unsaid but my brain wanted some form of confirmation
rejection, acceptance
anything, just not pity
but she let it hang in the air
complimented my talent for gab
even though it was full of compliments and come ons
she read my flaws, and my shut downs
shared no opinions and no words regarding what she'd seen
yet stood so close to reveal what she cared about most
and in return, I wanted to care
I wanted to embrace the move she made
but my eyes shone with lust
shone with desire
watching my daydreams drape my arm around her hips
letting the thought cut me like slit writs
as she scrolls through her phone
trying to control my demons
as my mouth almost form the words
"where do the dirty ones roam"
she was embracing me with care and consideration
and here I was, battling indifference
moving past my fears to show her my thoughts, feelings and defeats
I should've, wished I could go back in time and truly appreciate what she was trying to accomplish
accept the olive branch she bestowed onto me
yet my idiotic brain
chose to defend itself with sex energy
after the conclusion was reached too fast
that she couldn't care less...