I think I have a flu,
yet I'm insecure, even about that.
I'm truly not sure.
What if it is my body acting up?
Pretending it is hurt,
not wanting to work up?
It's not like I exercise,
I just study a lot.
But who I'm I lying to?
I can't study, I have no focus at all.
While I'm mostly in doubt,
of what I should have done,
the first time I met with someone.
I try to remember,
the pages on my notebook,
yet I think I will not do well,
in the exam paper tomorrow
I might even fail.
I lost to those thoughts,
there are also some others,
I want to cry, but even tears ate tired.
I start seeing a movie on my head,
I remember when the sea waves
were my most favorite thing.
The times I had under the starry sky,
under the little diamonds of the night.
Than I start thinking what is this about?
Come on, you should focus!
I tell myself every time.
But then my mind opens another door,
The one of Questions,
whitch answers I can't seem to find.
Why do some people stay far away?
Why do some get annoyed?
While the ones who are good,
know the values of my soul.
I feal my throat sore,
my nose is blocked.
My ears are playing me,
like I'm in a helicopter.
I feel cold at sudden,
but than I get hot,
I start sweating,
yet no temperature.
I say I'm not well,
but do not understand.
Is it only my body,
or also my heart acting this way?
I don't like doing anything,
nothing at all.
I have lots of hobbies,
yet to tired for any of it,
since I have no time, I say to myself.
I am dying, I need someone.
My soul has stopped feeling.
My mind stopped thinking,
and my heart is breaking,
in a more and more pieces.


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