A hole consumed with despair
a depth undescribable, I swear.
Looking up all I could do was stand and stare,
all of these circumstances didn't seem fair,
when I tried so hard to care.
Could I be helped with a few prayers?
In the empty void, realizing that
alone I couldn't repair.
An ocean of feelings collided, painfully aware.
My plastic exterior shattered, finally bare,
light enough to be the air.

Inside felt queasy,
all that buried baggage exposed,
a sense of sleazy.
Just take it "One Day at a Time"
Nothing but cheesy,
turning towards the dark will
always be too easy.

Is there a life after dope?
Why is it so hard to maintain some hope?
as I ride this train a blaze, falling
fast down the slope.
Do I do something different,
& grab onto the rope?

The emptiness devoured all that was near,
so I walk through the fear,
I walk through the pain,
no longer a captive in my own chains.
I now have everything to gain.

So I won't hold back these tears,
time is always here,
continuous as a storm has rain as it
passes year by year.

Elusiveness hides in plain sight,
Identifying it takes time & will
claim a many fortnites.
A future blinding & bright,
Self-doubt hides in the shadows ready to bite.
Mean & serene wont win this fight.
Simplicity, a tunnel where the end has a light.
Accepting situations for what they
are, even when done out of spite.
Happiness comes in many forms
& I don't always have to be right.

We all get a hand to reveal,
not all cards will be ideal,
it's how you play the given deal.
Some will mend the rules, some
will steal, others keep things real.
Life resembles a rose, a slow decay if you will.
oh to be peaceful & chill.
Once in a hole, now on top of a hill.

If only there was time to doze,
Dropping all acts, my pose.
but with all doors that open, others must close.

The sun will rise again with
a new outlook above,
maybe something new to fall into, with love.
Finally at ease & free as a dove.

I don't have to pretend to be this awful actor.
The universe will always
have the deciding factor.

© REDS



#poems #hope #addiction #faith #recovery #clean #pain #Fate #universe