This is dedicated to my beautiful butterfly, my northern star in the night, the flare to my spark, and the smile under my mask. I hope, no. I pray you never get to read this letter, or rather poem. My thoughts, for which were once a safe place, only made room for one thing, you. As I write this I know now it is not my thoughts that betray me, but my heart. It's like it has a mind of its own. As if it doesn't beat for just me, but for you. Every girl in my stories is defined by you. Everytime I blink provokes a smile that reminds me of you, and every tenuous attempt to manifest anything other than you only paints pictures of my deepest desires, you. I don't want your apology nor do I wish for a response. I only wish for you to see what I saw. A conspiring woman who bleaks blindness upon its bearer. You taught me a lesson I didn't know I needed to learn. You taught me values worth more than diamonds without uttering the words. You opened my eyes even though I was unaware they were closed and ultimately webbed my actions to your parlor, though you never tried to. I guess that's what love does to you. You see you taught me so much in a short period of time which felt like a lifetime, before our concluding cancellation policy I would like to say…..I forgive you. You taught me effort so if I could see you one more time, I would wish you nothing but happiness and to please, forget about me. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own body and you showed me that but I've learned through my own self preservation that in my words still beats my heart. Deep within my pen dwells my lurking soul and between my eyes masks a dam of tears I locked up so tight that if it broke again, it would drown me from the inside. So please accept my forgiveness, for my love for you tainted through my fingers, painting depictions of us in highlighted segues for myself to witness on repeat over and over again. I hope and pray with every inch of my being to please, please, my god. Please, never look for me. You are a kryptonite I'm not willing to discover again, you are a star I'm not willing to gaze upon again, you are a pleasure I'm not willing to tolerate, and you my beautiful butterfly in all your beloved and glory, are a poem I've written so many times in so many different ways. This is my goodbye. You've underestimated my love for you or perhaps…you never knew what love truly meant. Love poems were always easy for me to write and you've made that so much easier so again, I must thank you. You made me a better person. Enjoy this poem, I hope you never get to read it. Yours truly, the lover of your shadow.


To my crimson starlight, though this is a letter,
Read it if you want right? This is for the better
Whether it's for pain or pleasure,
The strings to my heart are completely severed.
Going to take more than an apology for it to be tethered.
She is the blue to my sea, the pool of my happiness,
She is the bloom of my seed, a cocoon full of classiness,
She's like the handle on my steed, the pull to my craftiness,
She's like the fixed to my needs, a vast drug of handiness.
My baby acted on instinct, I followed her as she lingered,
I'm like her hair, you had me wrapped around your finger.
Interconnecting like the moon to the tide,
Moments within those times
Relates you to that blazing ball up high
Shining brightly in the night, better than lightning across the sky.
When I was with my love, I felt like I was a soaring dove
Reaching up on a mountain peak, touching the heavens above
In every star in view in the sky is you
And I'm up here stressing attempting to reach you
And if you don't believe me then that's on you.
You spoke, broke and focused on our contrast
And made me walk across the road of shattered glass.
Had me tripping over things my (e)motion couldn't capture (motion capture).
A natural disaster waiting in corners of its own manufacture.
I had an epiphany our history harnessed a symphony
And in that symphony honed symphonies in close proximity
So if you wanted me to succeed then why'd you try to stop me?
If you wanted to be selfless then why take so much from me?
Reconcile to the beat that is your dynasty.
Though you can only hear it, it's definitely a sight to see
Going down like water
As frequent as you breathe.
Your tongue's a parabellum piercing shots through my heart
Way before I used to say how beautiful you are.
My heart can't bare see someone I love-love someone else
So I prefer this over anything and everything else.
Her grace gait hooks the things you've read in books
Pulls my tale toots swooning me over with her looks.
I'll never go back, to how I once feel,
I'll never look back, till all is revealed.
I'll never take back, the things I have said
Other than the fact I reconcile in your voice that repeats inside my head
In a clerical numerical blend that'll reap and reprimand
For gradation credence to cause and take effect.

Hook
A thought of you pierce my soul tugging heartstrings when I sing
Oceans washes away sin like the wind does debris
I feel the notions of oceans confining in me
It's so exciting to me to feel what love can be
Filling the heart with the mind to find tranquility
The moon and the stars with the light shine without me.

In my huge ooze lagoon, I made room for you.
She was majestic as the moon and valuable as a jewel
Yet, she used me as a tool but the more oodal, the more love it grew.
Within this panic made it harder to untangle from you.
All roads the same and I go back for more,
Sprawling into darkness, I can't take it anymore.
I've had enough of this session
I won't take any more questions.
That girl I would have walked away in a horse and carriage
Along the sunset where I would have proposed for a marriage.
To bask in her presence
Is nothing more than a fact I embellish
And relish in the memories
Deep inside this mind where I cherish
And perish in her parish
Of that exoteric merit of a Seraph
Stays blinding my eyes like enlightenment to a cleric.
Feel my pain through my musical tune, it's so verbal
And traversal because it relates to all, it's universal.
Another poem for my journal, completely monumental.
I wish someone told me that love is controversial.
I feel the tempo in this crescendo instrumental
Makes me want to grab this innuendo and throw it right out the window
But that's a leap of faith I'm not willing to give or lead astray.
It's harnessed around my throat
Choking me as its memories fade away.

Hook
Her smile swoons and it looms waves as large as the beach,
Her sparkling eyes gleam starlights on dim lit sleek streets,
Her voice soothes the rage in the heart of the beast,
Her countenance sets off incantations when her body and mine meet.
She fills me with such glee from the oceans to sea
And the sea and the ocean are colliding with me.

As I hold this pen, my hand shakes from its tension, for this apparition did her job as intended. Her reflection blurs in misconception like a lunar crescent dancing in its own deception, a masterful tactician. Its light brought about darkness and darkness sprouted about light then life brought about death and death sprouted about life. She's a flying poltergeist, a ghost mid-flight who enters at night to claim its rightful place beside incite. You swoon my thoughts and moved my feet. You removed my heart and caused it to beat. You see that started a feeling, that feeling ignited a spark. What sparked is an emotion that dwells in my heart.

She was so visible practical
And empirically egotistical
And questionably theatrical
And other times I remember her being pragmatically erratical.
Entranced of her plumped curve lips,
Enthralled in heat with her summer breeze kiss.
My body vibrates from the thoughts of her mistakes
Eviscerated any means or thoughts of escape
Replaced by the tears to a smiles that now took its place,
That mask in advance that will potentially break.
The art in me is a part of me.
It's the heart in me you took out and ate it right in front of me.
My past transgressions forged in the form of you
And I refuse to stop until I see all the way through.
Our combining body emitted rhythms only we could listen to,
Our joining minds combined symptoms our eyes could witness too.
That day, in which left me broken beyond repair
Where I stared in my chair and disappeared in moments of despair
And if ever you wondered what I did in those fortnights,
What you're reading now is what I've created on those nights.


#brokenheart #rhyme #deepmeaning

© All Rights Reserved