I’m alone
Gone,
Lost in this godforsaken world
My world is more dilated than my pupils and I cannot fathom the thought of ever being cared for
What is love?
What is it like to be a man that’s loved without any repercussions or conditions?
Who can I run to without being told that women have it harder?
That I’m a man and I should be stronger,
Tougher,
More inclined to take their feelings ahead of mine
I cannot talk about how the suicidal rate in men is twice as much as women
I cannot talk about the social stigma of toxic masculinity that a man goes through from the time he’s born
I just want to know that I’m cared about
I want to know that someone loves me
If I don’t act a certain way then I must be gay
If I’m not assertive as a man should be,
Then I must be gay
If I don’t take initiative, talk to women like their kids,
Put my foot down because women like when a man puts them in their place,
I must gay
If I do everything I think I’m supposed to do as a man,
I’m controlling,
A narcissist
If I don’t give in to the toxic masculinity that men go through and be myself,
I’m soft,
I’m gay,
I’m everything but a man
Everyday I wake up,
I want to kill myself
I cannot even cry because I’m scared of what they’d say
I’m a failure
As a man,
As a person,
I never do anything right
I’ll never be loved the way I should be
I’ll keep holding everything in even though it’s not healthy
I just want to know that I’m loved even though I’m a man,
But I’m not

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