15 minutes, the time I want to allot
to these giant grown thoughts
but I'm known to overrun
wanting to say so much
without cooking a lunch
that doesn't stand out enough to pack a punch
yet I'm a chef that cooks with passion
and heart
my own lunch ended nearly 2 hours ago
i needed a start so I honestly let myself bark
onto the reason why I'm back to voice my art
I can't keep my mind clear
my head is searching for pillows
maybe in clear meadows, free of grass
or hard benches that could cause a rash
I don't know
was searching for a rhyme
give me a second to drop the facade
and say what I want real loud
Any major happening in my life
is a minor occurrence in the grand scheme of things
whether it's bad luck or misplaced faith
technology falling or just one more day not going the right way
failure is born from the mind
and I'm failing all the time
Who am I trying to impress
no one, I do what I do all to alleviate stress
Liar, who am I trying to impress
no one, everyone
I'm as selfish as I am selfless
thinking if I help someone
maybe I can find ways to help myself
thinking if i help someone else
they would help me
but I shrug off return gifts
that the price i pay to help them is priceless
that my gestures lack ulterior motives
when all I want to shout
"Can you rid me of the sadness that plagues my head"
"Can you tell my guilty conscience my shoulders are fine
the world doesn't reside on them"
"Can you tell my pride to settle down, it's ok to ask for a little help every now and then"
"Can you tell my inner self to love me even when my faults exceed expectations and consume my output, my outlook"
"Can you please just tell me I matter today"
I don't matter today
I say it frequently when my phone doesn't ring
awaiting justification for conversation
when all i receive are notifications
insignificant things that light up the screen
a tiny sun in my pocket to brighten up an empty, cushioned hole in space
even that has a place
what about me
I'm just a round hole that found its way into a square space
it's uncomfortable but i fit in somehow
without really knowing how to get myself out
A secret for you kids
even though you all know this
on my own, I'm pretty boring
women tend to spice up my life
always have
even with the amount of trouble they give me
I flirt, destroy myself, improve myself, push myself and my limits
cut of my arms and legs
break my bones
stay up all...