I hated times when we fight.
I hated the fact you left last night.
I love you so much,
an I know why,
but when I tell you why, you said “ I don’t know why”.
but the truth is I knew all along
I just kept it covered up well
whenever you would call.
I’m stern an strong an all along there was something that was standing in the way.
all alone the other night was when we had that fight.
I hate being alone, I hate having to take you to another persons home.
Truth is I’m scared! Scared to love and of being hurt, having to grow up the way I did. Made me realize that I could lose everything I got. I’m no longer a kid! It’s time to grow up. Time for me to show up. Knowing that I’ve hurt you, embarrassed you. I wish I could take back all of those moments where tears have rolled down cheeks. I feel like if I could take that part of the relationship an throw it away like some old trash. but the only thing that I could do is let you know that if you give me another chance I swear you’d be back. not just for a moment but for a lifetime I sweated I’d make you mine. no one an nothing would take that shine just know I wasn’t ready before. But now I’m ready an brave an strong cause every time I hear fresh diced pineapples I know that’s are song.
I’m grown enough to admitt that I fucked up big time an I’m sorry I’m sorry for everything an every time I raised my voice.
I’m sorry for every time I played you an acted like it wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I swear I should’ve never played with you like a toy. I should’ve never used our home as a weapon by yelling at you and telling you to get the hell out. I mean really who am I to be so rude to the man who wants me to hold his hand in marriage. the things I’ve said just to make me feel like I was one up ahead. was dead wrong no wonder why we never really had gotten along. it’s the simple things that you would say it all started to make some sence just the other day.
I’m sorry for saying crazy things that you’d let just fly by but yet would hurt so deep inside. just knowing I’ve had you as my lover my best friend my confiden my king an all of the other simple things that mean so much to me makes it so clear as to why I love you so much. I know that it’s hard to believe cause look how fucked up I’ve been. I swear if god gave me a chance to take all the pain away. I would do it with one shot. one dose of my love will put you into shock. nothing like hearing your body rub on my I replay the thought all the time. it’s like I keep pressing rewind. I just need one thing from you baby I need you to trust me when I say your the reason I’m still here. the love that you display time an time again I wish I could take all the hardest moments an turn them into an abundance. The love you had to offer was so much better the what I thought. that I could no longer act as if I wasn’t in shock. I try to store the bad times far away from my heart. the bad memories that cross my mind I throw them away just like a bad piece of pie. I’ve fought so hard for you to see that I’m really trying to show you how much you mean to me even with my mood swings an yours too. both of them together is one hell of a whirl I’m just holding on to see how far it will go. you thought with discipline an sought with an abundance of love as it gets stronger no more am I to wonder how great the joy between you an me could make the travel to love feel so complete. without a doubt the first thing I would do would to be to run away from you. Scared an confused only become to be more when I’d separate from you. I’d catch myself lyin to myself saying go ahead an do it, your already screwed up. it doesn’t matter now cause my destination has to say a lot. when I found you in the position where you stood on your hands an knees an you thought you could escape my love. but the god up above wouldn’t let you forget how much I truly love you an how I finally got to the point where I’d do anything for you. all that you’d do for me I still don’t understand but I know this one thing for sure an it never raised a question in my mind that you’d want me to be your only bride. I will stop asking you to tell me why cause I see right thru your eyes . I am your queen an you are my king an the only thing can stand between you an me is the fine line of love an hate.you have my heart be full of joy an the fact you didn’t lack in any department mentally an physically was a fuckin turn on for me see you were equipped in every department. trust me baby you are so complete. talking about you gets me to my highest peak. come lay down an I’ll give you a free peak. im waiting patiently for you to lay your head up on my breast. so you can see how my heart beats uncontrollably for you. when your going down upon my crown I’ve never been so wet an moist lord forgive me for the over flow but im really telling you it’s all for you an I can’t control all of my feelings when im hit an fluttered wit all every lick an every stroke my body felt like I was losing control. but at the end of the learning one another I couldn’t an won’t have to learn another Mann it ain’t no one man can compare to half the man you are baby your my star.
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