here I am trying my best
but I'm left no other option
I'd rather have a bullet pass through my chest
then deal with the concoction
of thoughts passing through my head
Feeling so emotionally dead
Revealed my cards empty
can't afford the lead
And Its unappealing
to have so much pain
Inside of my brain it's a train wreck
My plans take a rain check
Time with friends the few I've got
Comes to an end before its through
Quite a bind
shame I can't turn back time
Regret what I did but I would still do it
Lie to myself just to get through it
At the doctors in a queue
Waiting for him to tell me what I have to do
Wish I could just have my take two
really is this what my life has come to
But I probably won't do nothing different
And this life somehow I'd miss it
I don't tie the rope
Wash away the stain in my life with soap
And here I am sustaining hope
Find something to have some fun
but yet my mind still comes undone
like a cake in the oven
I'm missing something
forgot the ingredient
that lets me turn out as something
worth nothing constantly running
from the feeling inside
feel so misguided
here I confide and hide my feelings about it
stuck in the middle
solving some riddles to just understand what's going on
but here I am left in the middle
and I'm not too fond of this pickle
get the sickle cause I'd rather be dead
then stuck with the voices inside my head
dealing with poisons sat on top of my bed
feeling exploited by my own poor choices
disappointed I wont find no one in life
these feelings are a loaded gun
about to unload
and feeling like I'm bound to explode
light the fuse and watch me go
tired of all the shit that happens
I just want to let you know
I'm full of bad thoughts
of what I am lacken
life treats me like a rodeo
always feeling alone you know
and in all ways I feel like Pluto
for a few years everyone forgot
now here I am feelings going over the top
my life is shards that over I'm knelt
dealing with the shitty cards I was dealt
never revealing more then I'm concealing
never say how truly I'm feeling
twisting the knife
Resisting the pain in life
never dealing with the thoughts
inside of my brain feeling insane
yet let me refrain
from causing more pain
feeling like I can not escape
I'm trapped in this place
feel so misplaced
appeal to those who like mistakes
wiping my nose I feel so alone

sorry if this bums anyone out

© Kingchaos