Right now, It's 3:46 in the morning, and I can't go back to sleep. I've just woke up from a dream that filled my heart with unbearable pain. Perhaps it wasn't a dream but a nightmare. Tonight, I dreamt of you, and you were in my arms again. Though it was brief but I felt it, we talked and I can see you so clearly that I thought it was real. My heart still yearns for someone like you to return, as it has committed love in a certain degree that I've never trampled before. Even though I know my messages will never reach you out , but this stubborn little heart of mine still hopes, and because of that, the pain still lingers, often overwhelming. I never wanted this, but now my heart feels like a car racing on a vanished track, constantly moving forward but lost. Everyday, everytime I think of you, I always wish for some Gods or any divine power to take away the pain. In my mind, I have imagine countless ways to kill myself just to end my suffering; ripping my heart to shreds, piercing it with a sword, or shooting it with a gun hoping it might bring relief. But no, you've left me with a wound that will never heal and will never be a scar. The wound is as fresh as the day you left, and I don't even know what I did wrong so I'm left wondering where to start and make things right. There's no lesson to even learn from here, as lessons are rooted from mistakes, and the mistake was never clear.I'm utterly defeated, devastated, shattered, broken, crushed, desolate, ruined, hopeless, bereft, and dispirited. My heart cries for help, but all I can do is sit here, clutching my chest, hoping that this will end.