I laid then as I lay now
Staring with blank eyes
Frozen
Muscles too lethargic from fear and anxiety to move
An egg white ceiling
And tan carpet that smells of what was once a sanctuary
A home
A safe place
My, safe space
An innocent light stripped from my ribcage
Colors of pastel and rainbow vomit from my chest
My autonomy stolen
Traded for the pleasure of another
A heart made of Earth and Sun now decomposed
A cold and desolate sea of black
A rotten wasteland
Mold and rust crowd what was once a beating heart
Now a bloodless organ that resides in the thorax of my skeleton
I mourn her
I mourn the heart that once concealed all the new light of the world
The child in me that didn’t get a choice
A choice to choose
A choice to run
A choice to scream
I mourn whom I used to be
The little girl within me
And so does my family
Mourn me
Mourn my light and my love
My smile and my essence
Mourn the beady bright brown-eyed daughter who was able to see all the color the world has to offer
For now she sees gray
For now she feels the weight of her troubles
For now she seeks comfort in the chaos
For that is all she knows
Mourn her
Mourn me

© thecryingchild