What goes around comes around.
I never believed that saying to be true,
Until it was.

Overwhelming things keep happening.
Those things that I'm not supposed to talk about.
Despite my silence, despite being only one of two who knows, it seems as if I recieve validation elsewhere.
People unaware of my situation bring up similar examples and express how difficult it must be, and how wrong it was.
It's comforting, but it also scares me.
Confuses me.

Repeatedly, uncanny resemblances in examples brought up by others give me what I am not allowed to ask for. And in a way, it feels as if they know, and that their answers are for me.

It's strange to do it on my own. It's difficult to find ways to believe how I felt was right and okay. I always wonder if I'm wrong, or if I am overreacting. But what hurts me hurts me, right? I can't choose.

I wish I could dismiss other's actions. Displaying complete indifference to the things they say and do. Everything would be so much easier, to be unbothered. I blame myself, concluding that if I had done more, I could have changed things. If I had been stronger and said less, maybe we would have everything we wanted.

Maybe, though, the thing I regret the most was ever asking. Ignorance truly is bliss. But now knowing comes with the thought: would they have continued to lie to me if I had never known?
I'm almost certain.
I hope I'm wrong.


© Do You Mind?