I used to think about
the note I would write
more than the aftermath
I used to think about
what I would will to people
as if the result of my death
only amounted to an inheritance
I used to think about
how and where I would do it
whether I would listen to music
or the silence
Now I think about why I’m living
and not why I want to die
but I think I keep on living
because I’m really too scared to die

(Side Note: I’m actually in a happier and better place now so don’t worry. 🤪)