"fuck it" one man battle with depression and high anxiety
by Rapheal Vontique Murray

Mean mugging
Your facial expressions showing
Judgement
You must be looking for something
Off course my intuition and spider senses tingling like a MF
It's twisted how niccas hate to see you doing well and if they know your wrong doings they'll tell shady crabs in a bucket mentality
I stay inside not to hide but to protect the silly rabbits from me I'm hungry I try to manifest peace and not manipulate the issue but behind all the bull shit it's hard to stay straight even when you share everything you got on ya plate it's not enough they blame you when their lives are only rough due to poor decisions they done just to have fun I try to tell em how to flow and change they frequency but they never fucking listening I might as well feed em this smoke and let em come up missing (fuck it)

Slipping In and outta consciousness
I must be losing my mind
Or maybe it's the feeling I got like I'm running outta time cause nothing is promised
My head down cause heavy is the crown I wear I can't give it away cause its my cross to bear I been running in circles the life is hard but fair
my kids hate me they daddy ain't never got no extra bread and when I do it's only enough to keep em fed finding my way I walk a crooked path though the darkest chapter of my life I think I'm becoming a psychopath and the next wrong move made against me could lead to a blood bath I'm sorry momma I did the best that I could now with age I got plenty of understanding but I'm never understood so
(fuck it)

Pardon the body
I may love alot of people
But I don't like nobody
Cause I know the truth but I can't give a fuck cause
I got no Fucks to give trying to do more than exist lately seeing time as a factor now I wanna live and do shit right so I lightened the load
cut off the dead weight
and those who are stuck in my past trying to hate
I expect more for my queen now as a king I need more than some ass and fire head so lets just sit together formulating plans to get the bread
I look in the mirror like all's well carry myself in my heart almighty conservative every moment yes my life style is in me not on me
gorilla my profile not a killer but don't ever push me if you looking
I stay were the kush be
I seek knowledge so I'm staying ever knowing for justice I'm going all out man
So much that I stay in the house cause the doc told me I got less than a month it's hopeless just now I'm setting up the legacy even though I'm not promised tomorrow
so I'm focused on today baby what else is left to say but
(fuck it)
© Rapheal Vontique Murray