I feel so superficial.
I don't want to say I'm dishonest, but sometimes my personality changes so much that it's like it is unstable.
Be patient with me as I find a way to word this out,
otherwise you will not understand what I'm talking about.
Today I saw another woman get happily married on my timeline.
I tell myself that marriage is just a piece of paper, yet somehow although I'm happy for them, I'm a little bit jealous; and I don't know why.
Call it the romantic in me, but when I see it I can't help but cry.
The sweet happiness mixes with painful emotions of sadness and longing.
It's why I don't watch romantic movies much anymore, I don't want to not appreciate the things or people that I have; it gives me this sense of not belonging that I can't seem to shake.
Watching other people fall in love, even when made up, is really hard for me.
It just makes me wistfully happy and then it feels depressing.
I just see these people getting married and the beautiful scenery and the groom is crying and I think, why can't I have that?
Just to have someone love me like that, to look at me the way that they do and be so overwhelmed...