I go through these phases
Looking back at all the changes,
Eyes set on the future
So many faces, so many places to remember
So many I’d rather forget that play an essential part to where I am today and why I am where I am
Sometimes it makes me anxious
Trying to balance this fine line like a tight rope
The line between letting go and moving on to not wanting to harbor false hope
A hope that this could be what I’ve always wanted and have been waiting for
A hope that this is my future and the now I’m experiencing is a glimpse of what is yet to come and can only get even better
That this is really my forever and my mind isn’t just playing tricks on me and seeing what it wants to see and believe
Caught somewhere between guarding my heart and a fresh, clean start
Knowing that the only way to ever achieve it is to stop this constant dance backwards
To unlearn all of the tactics that helped me survive up until this point so I can finally live
A chance to give you the version of me that I used to be before...