im engulfed in self loathing i hate myself for memy Constant and repeated failure at life. there is no greater suffering than I wasted life. I dont wanna make any desicions for myself anymore, if I could stay is rehab forever. I would. at this point. I'm Fucking Scared i will not make it back again if I relapse my mind and heart literally can't stand anymore misfortune, SHAME & Guilt EAT AWAY at ME to the point OF ME Hyper- Ventalating, and Crying uncontrollably...