Caged within me

At times,I feel guilt and pain
Remorse and grief
but like everybody else
I push it down ,cover it up and hide it to get some ease

Lashes of pain are cloaked behind my  beaming face
Cracks of guilt are furnished behind my smiles
The tears that trail down,ebbing away the happiness in my life
Feel like scars running down my spine
The love that I had once cherished and lost makes me feel like dying
though the way i face people  is by smiling

Everyday life gives me a challenge,an obstacle a test
To go through it and give it my best
But as much as I try,I start to lose myself
My happiness,joy ,urge to smile and take care of myself

Every day,I am forced to hide myself behind a sheet
Shrouding up my agony,my fear and my pains so people won't think I'm a freak
At times,I feel lonely and afraid
Afraid to expose myself,afraid to face
The truth embodied in my past
that till now hurts my damn heart.

At times,i feel like dying
Rather than be trapped within myself
but then I think of my friends ,my mom and my fam
What would they think if they knew
that I had once pleaded for death