I know I am different.
and it hurts me to know that

I am almost fully deaf
I was born with it
nothing I can do about it
I wear hearing aids
I can lip read

making friends is difficult
it always has been
in loud places I shrivel up to the size of a penny
in quiet places, I can breath, feel my lungs expand. I enjoy the peace

I know there are people who have it worse off
but I feel sorry for myself
I try not to
but I can't even hear my own voice properly
and I never will

my own mother tells me to man up.
though I am a girl who is still
just
a
girl

I have three years till I officially become an adult
and I'm scared
time is going too quick
I've list my close friends
this I have now make sexual, racist, sexist comments about me. because none of the girls I try to befriend talk to me in response

"your my slave you know cos your black"
I am mixed.
I am not a slave.

"go back in the kitchen woman"
no

"you only hang out with boys because you want to shag them"
no
I hang about with them because I find it easier to talk to boys than girls because I have three brothers
I don't want to do things with them

I think this is the last chapter.
my chapter will end.
the book will finish.


© ewrites