5 views
Memories of my past
Flashes of the life I lived years ago. Still linger in the back of my mind still with me as my present life keeps on dragging me along moving forward. I try not to think of you too much, yet I still often do. I still wish that I could hate you. Hate you for giving up on me. I wish I could hate you for putting your love and trust into someone that you just met and barely knew.
It hurts to know you gave someone that you hardly knew all your love , attention, and affection. Everything I ever wanted. You even shared with them our secrets. Secrets we told only each other, late at night or early morning when we talked for hours on end. we made promises to one another. we vowed never to tell another soul. but as you know, In the end you didn't kept your promise. It seems when you met her, you broke alot of promises you made to me. It is very disturbing that I still remember the night everything changed, the night you met her. I knew it,, I felt you different. I guess you fell in love at first sight with her perhaps. I'm not sure what it was I just know that I knew the night you met her.When I think back , I feel so stupid, how could I let you treat me so terribly, talk to me so unkind, disrespect me everyday and every night avoiding my calls, never reading my messages. Why didn't I see all that you had stopped doing. you use to make sure that we were always ok. you always wanted to make sure I was happy. In the beginning it was only me. I still have the little post it notes you would leave me around the house, each with their own personal message. Those days were so great. I use to think we had this bond of love that no one could ever break or come between us. oh how I was so wrong.
It seems I can't let go of the memories. It's as I'd I'm still Stuck in the past, always feeling left, abandoned, unwanted. I've loved you for so long. yet the way you treated me felt so wrong. If I could of I'd had make you feel love for me again. I'd had make you want me like you did when we first began but as much as I wanted to do that . I know that I couldn't make someone, much less you feel something you no longer felt. It just was not possible. And finally I couldn't seem to stay quiet any longer I was so lonely, I knew I was in a loveless relationship that only I loved you. I just needed you to make me feel like you didn't want to lose me. I needed you to make me feel like it was me you wanted and no one else. but as much as I nagged and cried to you and some nights even begged for you to show me affection. It never came. and in the end you let go so quickly I was left morning u and in shock that you could let 18 plus years with me go in just an hour.
© Stephanie mh
It hurts to know you gave someone that you hardly knew all your love , attention, and affection. Everything I ever wanted. You even shared with them our secrets. Secrets we told only each other, late at night or early morning when we talked for hours on end. we made promises to one another. we vowed never to tell another soul. but as you know, In the end you didn't kept your promise. It seems when you met her, you broke alot of promises you made to me. It is very disturbing that I still remember the night everything changed, the night you met her. I knew it,, I felt you different. I guess you fell in love at first sight with her perhaps. I'm not sure what it was I just know that I knew the night you met her.When I think back , I feel so stupid, how could I let you treat me so terribly, talk to me so unkind, disrespect me everyday and every night avoiding my calls, never reading my messages. Why didn't I see all that you had stopped doing. you use to make sure that we were always ok. you always wanted to make sure I was happy. In the beginning it was only me. I still have the little post it notes you would leave me around the house, each with their own personal message. Those days were so great. I use to think we had this bond of love that no one could ever break or come between us. oh how I was so wrong.
It seems I can't let go of the memories. It's as I'd I'm still Stuck in the past, always feeling left, abandoned, unwanted. I've loved you for so long. yet the way you treated me felt so wrong. If I could of I'd had make you feel love for me again. I'd had make you want me like you did when we first began but as much as I wanted to do that . I know that I couldn't make someone, much less you feel something you no longer felt. It just was not possible. And finally I couldn't seem to stay quiet any longer I was so lonely, I knew I was in a loveless relationship that only I loved you. I just needed you to make me feel like you didn't want to lose me. I needed you to make me feel like it was me you wanted and no one else. but as much as I nagged and cried to you and some nights even begged for you to show me affection. It never came. and in the end you let go so quickly I was left morning u and in shock that you could let 18 plus years with me go in just an hour.
© Stephanie mh
