As I sit at this so called family table..My mind so paralized ,but all my emotional current and past trauma has put me on my disociation( as a protection sheild..)I am to blame..I brought myself into another danger zone..yet again..Always the criminals sins sufocate any peace I have claimed..the only run into space so I can feel safe.. Please, I am begging you to hold my close in this only imagination I get to keep..because...