Writing was special for me when I thought you were in my life and not only what I wanted to believe.
Truth is now I don't know what to think or believe
I don't know you or what kind of a person that you are.
All I know is what I made you to be in my head.
My times on these apps were so bad until I started talking to you. Talking to you changed things for me you'll never know how much. I had lost all confidence in everything in my life I was scared to
go to the store. I was even scared to walk around inside my own house I was truly messed up until I started talking to you.

But now I realize I know that all that was said from others was meant to make me lose confidence to change what kind of a person that I am. And now all of their insults are only smoke in the wind to me.
I realized how much I allowed their insults to change me, I was turning into the insulters.
God I hated the way I allowed the changes to make me feel. I hated wanting to insult someone because they insulted me I hate that feeling.

Talking to gave me light to think to go back.

I don't know maybe I just needed someone to pretend with or to pretend that someone loved me.

I know that I'll never give up on love because there is someone for everyone.
Thing is I didn't pretend I loved you and I wanted you to love me.

What I didn't think about was that your feelings
just might not be the love for me like I wish.
It's been years since I loved anyone the way I loved you and probably years before I love anyone again.
I do know that whomever get to have your love is one very lucky person.
And no matter what I am forever here for you if you every need me.


© writer2