it's not okay to not know who you are, people will take advantage of you when you don't have strong boundaries. you become a push
over. you become an easy target to use, and abuse. please be brave enough to find who you are outside of what everyone says and man, they will talk and talk. and you'll hear the opposite of the thing someone said from someone else. it's costly to not know yourself, so please figure out that first. it's important.
it's not okay to be dumb in society either, people will take advantage of you because you don't know better. you don't know what good things feel like, you don't know how it feels when someone respects you and treats you good, you don't know how to feel relaxed with another person so you stick around everyone that makes your stomach turn. they will use this to harm you. not knowing about intuition, about how trauma and the body works can be so detrimental so I urge you to educate yourself. there are people who will hurt you for lacking that knowledge.

I want to be smarter to operate in society and know the right thing to do in certain situations and more courageous to find myself when I'm lost.



my heart keeps bleeding and it's okay. blood is in my veins. that's good. it should bleed. it will gush at times and I'm okay with that. but when will I get my bandaid big enough, sturdy enough to stop the bleeding? everything has its time, when will it be time to stop the pain. my body lives in pain and I die every night to be in the pain all over again. when will it be my time to stop feeling the blood?

I told you too late I loved you. you told me too bluntly you want a sexual relationship with no attachment. my belly doesn't like that but it's you. what do I do?

Illusions of the mind, just another time, please only for another moment, just a daydream to escape the reality, a wish fulfilled in my mind to quiet my broken reality, just another thought about you, about us. I know it's not true but I can imagine for a little more time under the moon. we're going in separate directions, we're going to separate dimensions, unparallel universes, distant lands where we won't see or connect with each other. I know it's not true but let's daydream one more time, one last hurrah, one last... time


© candiplus1