Just an abundant expectation.
Will I pass or will I fail it all?
I wish I could be positive.
Maybe I'm overthinking stuff.
Yet it doesn't feel very good.
Feel like this time I fail too.

Feels like I'm still drowning,
but maybe I should have hope.
Hope for loss or for failure?
I just don't know what to do.
I feel too overwhelmed now.

If I had a time machine would,
I really fix all these mistakes?
If I chose a different path who,
would I have met in that?
How would things have gone,
would they be better there?

I don't feel too good be honest.
I really think I messed things.
I just don't want to think again.
About all of my past choices.
It's so tiring and exhausting.

It was never enough for me.
I didn't do what I should've.
No real excuses I'm just lame.
Why does anyone waste time,
trying to love me I don't know.
Cause I don't bring anything,
no real valuable enjoyment.

I'm broken here on the floor.
I wish I had another life I do.
It's too late I regret everything.
Even when it wasn't my fault.
I got hurt and it's too late.
I can't fix it even if I wanted.

Tonight I will sit with myself.
Maybe let my shadow talk.
See if I can figure it all out.
I don't know that I ever will.
But maybe it can help some.
I just wish it turned alright,
but wishful thinking isn't true.


© dats_poetry