you never realize how lonely you are until you are at the end of your day and you got a bunch of things to talk about and no one to talk to you look around and realize that there is no shoulder to cry on, I stay up just late enough until I am just exhausted enough that I can fall into my bed and sink into immediate Slumber because I can't stand laying in a bed in a dark room alone with just my thoughts for so many hours, I already said too much I already shared too much and I want it all back , I hate getting close to people these days I always regret sharing too much caring too much doing too much feeling too much sometimes when I say I'm okay I want someone to look at me in the eyes and hug me tight and say I know you're not, time after time everyday I fight the urge to text you or call you, telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me you would have , please tell me I am not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel I hope I cross your mind I cried and cried for you but you never gave a s*** about how I feel like I was nothing I need to forget about you just like you did about me , all I ever wanted is to feel wanted I want the guy to chase me I'm tired of being the Chaser I want to be loved just once please I learned that if someone is really into you you don't have to keep begging them for a text , call, you make me feel like I constantly need to fight for your attention , if you could fall asleep knowing I am crying knowing I am hurting or if I made it home safe you don't care for me, you opened my eyes to never struggle , to never chase love affection or attention because if it is not given freely by another person it isn't worth having , it's ironic how my heart was broken when I have seen this coming , honestly i feel real stupid for holding on to things that just keep hurting me I am sorry I gave you everything I had without making sure you wanted it stupid me thinking I was good enough some days I can't stop thinking about you and other days I wonder why I'm wasting my time I'm sad hurt angry mad and disappointed but you know what I don't put on a smile and move on it will hurt but I will survive be patient and tough someday these painful will be useful to you maybe I am just too f****** complicated for anyone to love it is sad saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your life with why am I thinking of you when I know you're not thinking of me I think about I think a part of me will always be waiting for you , I just want to tell you at some point it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong at some point being angry it's just another bad habit like smoking and you keep poisoning yourself without thinking about it
© sanchez75