honest words : Madison Kim.
poetry

the rape nearly broke me
but it did not destroy me
i had to learn
how to put myself back together again
because no one else would
i questioned why im alive
it’s so i could write this
when i pick myself up again.

why can’t we love our natural selves
i looked back in the mirror
applied the makeup
and yet i have never felt so empty
cause i wouldn’t dare
see my broken ugly self
in the mirror
bruised, battered, pained
why would i do that
does it mean i hate myself?

grief
anxiety
depression
pretending
froze me in place
while everyone else
lived their lives
i froze
trauma changed me
i could never
be the same
ever again

PTSD shook me to the core
and somehow
im still standing….
darling
that is strength

strength and weakness
look so similar
it’s tragic


coffee
a journal
and ink
the words flow out like magic.


Ladies,
don’t let anyone tell you
your strong willed personality
is a bad thing
it is your greatest strength
don’t ever apologize.


your poison slipped from your tongue so easily
yet im the guilty party
what a way to gaslight


i sometimes wished you’d quiet down your loud voice to let your daughter speak but you grew up in a culture where speaking up is a form of disrespect so i took hit after hit and sadly you died so i had to put those pieces back together because nobody else would.


art is a form of escapism.
it’s why i say
im called
the escape artist
life becomes too impossible
so i write, draw, sketch, act
it’s an escape from reality.


numbing is a temporary solution
we must grieve
and push through the mud
filled with pain
and sadness
that deep rooted anger
we must sit through
to see the light again.

You’re strong, I can tell because you’re reading this right now despite the heaviness in your heart. Your existence is brilliant, the way you move through a battlefield, refusing to give up. I know it’s been tough, maybe life hasn’t gone the way you’d hoped and sometimes you feel like you won’t survive this feeling but you always do. Your courage to keep going is inspirational, you inspire me. You inspired this. Thank you.

stop hoping he will change because he won’t. he doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself. his actions have proved that. fuck if you tried you fought now it’s time to move on!

Don’t let him drop your crown. it is yours to claim and yours only.

gaslight
emotional abuse
fighting
heated arguments
and worse
darling
it’s time to let him go
and accept how he is
and move on…
don’t let him destroy you.

those tired eyes
the dark circles
deserve rest
and love and care
stop worrying about him
he’s not worrying about you
it’s time to let it go
and move on
let yourself breathe again
loosen the rope he tied
around your neck
breathe darling
it’s time…
goodbye.

some people only learn to appreciate you by losing you.

i know it hurts
but your worth
is much more
than a shitty guy
who doesn’t
give a fuck about...