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Swimming lessons
I sit here ,listening to your angry bickers, blank stare at a pile of white substance that's been Nothing but insomniac nightmares and scattered 3 am dwellings ,
You told me yesterday how you wished nothing , but to see me smile... And well...
I knew how much it ment to you , so i forced a curl into my lips, wiped my eyes really hard and sucked back all the rage and sorrowful words that filled up my body , like i haveso many times before now.
I scold my tangled mind and twist up my swollen tounge ,

Till my mouth is swelled, and sewed shut and i can't see out my puffed up eyes,

You now have a
"new name"
For me, one that Really fit me...
ever since my words , were shunned out , with merely shallow blinds , that still peak the tinieest of light from the overwhelming sun on a hot july day , well i sit and melt away like a popsicle ....
The word "JUNKIE"
branded into me with red hot steel rods. And although the word is merely turning into just a Bad scar now, you still pick at me, every now n then re opening the festered wound,

Truth is. ..
You had already given up on me, labelled me..
you had been far gone from me, for so long...
Longer then when
i had walked off on you. And you cried , linger then. When i had even given up on myself...

You had left me alone , confused, lost ...
You weaved me a into a pipe dream
sent me off to find treasure with no map and no compass.
Expected to make a raft and stay afloat, on little wood pieces in these cold harsh, hard-hitting stormy waters.

Then expect me to come back with the gems and gold, I earned and fought for ...only you to strive high and mighty and reap the rewards of my journey..
So now , instead of
"Mom"
I have a few new names for you , some of em ,
i think fits you just right....

" Liar" "Runner", "Fake"
And ,
This time that same curl to my lips that had to be forced before ,
Comes out of my mouth like melting butter on a warm piece of toast .
Im not so scared of these waters nomore , as I've lived 2000 storm's alone , and can. Out swim the Olympics ...

So This time around i really hope , for your sake. You took some swimming lessons .







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