Its been four months

November

I didn’t register the shock at first.
Denial flooded my brain.
So when i walked home,
you walked with me.

December

Then it all came back.
It hit me in the gut and sent me into
Endless crying fits
The slightest mention of your name
Would send water to my eyes
When the sun was out
My mind was still stormy

January

Ill admit.
I was angry.
Angry that you left
Angry we couldn’t spend more time together.
Angry that I didn’t cherish you enough.
I missed you more often than not

February

Im scared.
I feel like im forgetting.
I don’t want to let you go.
But i know I have to.
I know i must move on.
I know ill find another
But I still wish it were you.

Now

We baked you a cake.
my sister and I.
Almost a happy birthday
To you.
If i could mail myself
i would.
But ill send,
A picture of a cake
Instead.

© Phvdberg