The sun is shining
The sky is blue and,
The wind is warm
I look around to see all of the smiling faces,
The children laughing and running around without a single care in the world,
As they should
The warm breeze of the wind caresses my face against my resistance
But,
I don’t wish to be embraced
My heart is slowly turning black and my soul is being drained from my body
I’ve been damaged so much that I cannot enjoy the festivities of life but instead I wallow in my depression and I,
Attempt to cry but nothing comes out besides pathetic lies and fake smiles so people believe that I’m ok
I’m not
I’m alone because I’m the person that people pity
I’m the person that people invite over out of guilt and them wanting to feel like a good person
I’m the person that’s everyone’s last option
I’m the person that’ll take the fall for drugs that aren’t mine
I’m the person that people constantly put down and don’t think I’m good enough to even be a shadow in their presence
Their essence
My cheap,
Allergic cologne could never compare to their name brand fragrance
Even though,
It’s the same…
If it’s not stamped with a logo then obviously it’s cheap
I’m the one that gets the hand-me-downs because people think I cannot afford anything else
What’s a world of people if nobody knows you exist?
What’s a world of people if you’re treated like grass that’s turned brown and hasn’t been cared for in ages?
Left for dead
Stepped on
Shitted on
Spit on and disrespected because it’s just grass,
Right?
It can’t possibly have feelings
And even if it did,
It’s grass
Who cares about me?
Who wakes up thinking,
Blinking,
Heart sinking because they haven’t seen me?
Talked to me
Crying because they haven’t heard my voice
Smiling from ear to ear because they’re happy to see me
It’s life,
I suppose
The sun will continue to shine
Life will go on
And I,
I will mask my emotions,
I’ll fall down continuously and I’ll be a stepping stone for others
But even then,
I’ll be ok
Not because I am but because I have to be

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