i find my old self
sitting in my bedroom.
she's watching icarly.
i sit in my chair and
she looks at me.
her eyes puffy.

"what happened to you?"
she whispers.
she looks so small, yet so broken.
but she cannot recognize me
i wish i didnt know her either.

i laugh till i cry and i smile
because words cannot experience
what waits outside that door.
i have loved and caused pain
and loved and been in pain
i am not the girl i was before.
but i still carry her
like a crying baby who just wants to be
held.
...