Gotta stop being hard on myself 
Gotta stop lying with this guilt and shame
I know I’m the one to blame
But forgiveness is the key to my soul being free
So please come walk with me
Hand and hand
Understanding and forgiveness 
Walking beside me
Fighting a war inside myself
For so many moons
I’ve watched myself shed my old skin
Time and time again
Until I can’t even recognize my past self these days
I keep blooming anew 
Under the moonlight my flower petals fall
Trying to comfort my past selves trauma with simple words and affirmations
Distracted by my present issues
Haunted by my past memories 
Wanting to run away from it all
Start a new life in some foreign country 
But truthfully the environment I’m in is not the issue 
It’s my brain and my thoughts and my paranoia 
I am the victim and the perpetrator in my own back story
I pray and I breathe and I do everything I can to survive myself 
Get some therapy 
Take some unprescipted drugs
I just need alot of hugs
But it’s hard to accept outward love
I’m scared to be touched by others
Can’t let them hug me or hold me unless were fucking
Can’t let them treat me with kind words and gifts so I push them all away
I question why no one ever stays?
Either I don’t ever...