Tired.
Worn down.
Broken.
Stressed.
Depressed.
The way I've felt for over 4 years is unbearable.
Feeling like I have a duty, but being put in utter darkness.
Grieving even though the people I want in my life are still alive.
I know what I have to do to get there, but being stuck on what was the past and knowing I need to keep moving forward. Knowing non of it will be the same.
Trying to work on my self and be a better me yet my self confidence is at its lowest and every time I try to put myself out there, I want to run into my room and be alone. I don't know why I run and hide when I know I need to show my wings. I try to open them and I fall back down. I am on an endless roller-coaster of ups and downs. I try to focus on the things I already have and the abundance in my life, but the time and love for my friends can never be replaced by money or things. My happiness was at it's highest just being in their presence and that is what I've lost.
I think to much of what I've lost and yet I know I have so much right infront of me. These reoccurring thoughts are slowly killing me.

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