During my time of absence...

I knew before hand about my surgery, I wasn't nervous. But as we came closer to the day my anxiety started to rise.

Mom: "We can get your wisdom teeth put out now along with those four extra teeth you have!"

Me: "But...my wisdome teeth haven't even grown in yet-"

Mom: "Oh well I guess you're going to have to go through the sane procder TWICE!"

and that was the decision that changed everything. So I chose to get my wisdom teeth taken out, and my extra four teeth all T the same time.

I was in the dentist crying, shaking, they put me to sleep, but still fought back, just curious as to what they were gonna do to me. but I think that's when they added more anesthesia, moms Saya they put too much anesthesia. Probably because I was fighting back. and the last image I saw before nothing was them surrouning me.

And because of too much anesthesia I didn't wake up until my mom woke me up and I was in the car at my house. I was still clueless to what they had done to me. I always saw videos of people having side affects to anesthesia and they were all laughing. but for me it was just blood and pain, no laughing.

I though the surgery was the bad part but no, the healing process was even worse. A syringe they had to spray in my mouth, it had to be hot water. I was always drinking salt water, and had these soggy towels in my mouth to help stop the bleeding. wait...that's when I realized.

Because my wisdom teeth haven't even grown in yet. They had to cut my jaw open, and remove them, and stich my jaw back up. That was were the most pain was coming from. My jaw was just hurting and deformed, I couldn't even smile, If I did it would hurt. I couldn't eat rice, sugar nothing.

when I got home my mom fed me pudding, she was feeding like a baby so I felt pretty bad she had to go through this, I couldn't move at all, I was so weak, it was too painful.

the healing process wasn't making it any better. on the third day of healing, My jaw stopped bleeding, but it was still. very much hurting. My cheeks were st
wolen I looked like a chipmunk. the nights were even worse. Evrey night I woke up crying in pain. I told my mom.

"I just want this pain to end."

"I know" she says.. But it was only day three. Only eating mashed potatoes, pudding, Mac and cheese. but it was even hard just for me to eat those things.

I was tired of taken the meds I was tired of the stupid syringe, I was tired of that Oral mouth wash and that stupid ice pack I was tired of the pain, it was so frustrating that I couldn't eat, I strugg everytime I tried too . and I just wanted to kill myself.

I enterd a depressive state. I couldn't sing anymore, I felt like I let my choir teacher down. I was doing a play but I had to turn it down, when I saw the other people on the stage it struck a cord within me. Jealousy and depression.

As I was getting better, I progressed, if I wanted eat anything else, the food had to be blended.

the only one who kept me sane in the situation was my loving and caring mother, who also made me a banna and strawberry smoothie. (It was delicious) I said sorry to her for putting her in that situation. But she said it was alright, as is a mother, no matter how grown is always supposed to take care of their child.

I'm glad the pain is somewhat over now. But I still hate the dentist...even though they only meant good...right? I feel better, I'm not as depressed as I was then. And even though I missed out on the play, I still have many more opportunities.

Love you mom 💗❤️

I still wonder, if I had chosen to do separate procedures, even thought it might take longer, would the process have been a lot less painful?


© loveGod@