I am Heaven, I am Hell
I'm the contradiction 
of my own internal self.

I love and I hate,
always one sided.
It's all or nothing yet 
I'm so undecided.

I'm sad and I'm happy 
both at one time.

If all who knew me 
could look inside, 
I'm very unsure if they'd 
run or stay by my side.

I want to be loved though 
I push them away. Like I
need for someone to 
beg me to stay. 

When I'm in my own head
with no mirrors in sight
I feel like I'm pretty
and full with delight. 

When it's time to turn in
I go to my room, I remember 
my face and all of my doom. I 
craw into bed and lay there
all night. Wishing again 
to never see light.

~Amanda Collins