You say something to her and it's a joke
It upsets her but she knows if she speaks out she'll be marked overreacting.
She says something to you, it's a joke
But this is different it upsets you so she needs to be retracting.

You tell her she must always tell others if she's uncomfortable with something
But if she does this with you, she's become a bad person.
She'll apologize profusely of course since you mean everything
But all her feelings about it, aren't as important as any of you, so it's now abandoned.

She loves them so much, sometimes her...