She always felt so distant.
I am rarely reminded of the person I was before, I don't have any pictures to refer back too before the building took place.
Many believe you haven't truly grieved unless you've lost someone you've loved.
I grieved the girl I once was.
I felt as if I had betrayed all of her.
But each part of her I crushed in a different way.
I didn't crumple her up like a single piece of paper.
No, she was a book and I tore each page out. I did whatever I felt needed to be done, for every page.
I had help, burning and drowning the ink away.
I wasn't what I desired to do, it was a survival tactic.
I couldn't stop the bleeding.
I couldn't heal all the wounds.
I couldn't repair any of her.

They did the rest though.
They ignored every single flaw I had.
They turned themselves away from my shortcomings so they could put out the fire, lessen the damage done.
What they pulled off, God couldn't have done a better job.
Too wrestle and cling to a soul who had given up so long ago, to drag her away from her sheer determination to reach death.
To even dare push her harder even when she was already broken.
The force they used, crippling and nearly demonic. ...