There is something wrong with me,
I think I understand that now,
I keep wondering why I cannot stop,
But I know I am afraid to quit.

Drugs are the bane of my existence,
They are why I wake in the morning,
Even if I did not sleep the night before,
The drugs are all I live for.

Everything that makes me who I am,
My personality, my friends, my routine,
It all is centered around my addiction,
And I am afraid to quit.

My life has been dedicated to one pursuit,
Reaching that euphoria I will always receive,
Pop pills or roll that bowl to start the day,
I can't imagine who I'd be sober.

My family say I'm not the little girl they knew,
But I remember the pain she hid inside,
Now I'm just coping with it differently,
Another reason I'm afraid to quit.

I've been asking questions my entire life,
I'm a drowning soul with no hopes and abandoned dreams,
The answers I found only sunk me deeper into the abyss,
I've given up on ever being like everyone else.

What's to come next is anyone's guess,
I never plan ahead for it only leads to disappointment,
Future is a word best suited for the living,
I'm dying because I am too afraid to quit.

© Sheryl Clark-Alegre