I want love but I don't know how to love
I want you & only you yet I don't know the words to say.
I try my best to push you away ( for my self protection )
I deal with many scars, please remember I have one small peice left of my heart that I refuse to lose...... " SIGH " I don't know how to make you see....... I've trust those whom hurt me
and by how I'm acting you know they cut me deep
I smile to keep from crying
I drink to numb my pain
I want to push you away
yet deep down I only wish for you to stay.
all I ever wanted was for a man to fight for me
" I've done all the fighting I could ever do to keep a relationship going " yet all it's gotten me was wet wet pillows soaked with tears.. So I truly hope you understand I've never ment to cause you any pain....
I just want what I've been giving out.
fight for me
if you truly want me don't watch me go away.
let me know it's me & only me you want....
the times I tried pushing you away was never intentional ( I'm just scared, I'm afraid if I trust again will it get broke once more? if I fall in love " CRINGE!!!!" Gross I can't say that L word because as usual when I fall & they act as if they're falling too they end up dropping me like a porcelain doll...) so please forgive me for my random mood swings.
my mentality I have now is
" I'd rather hurt you before you hurt me. "
but deep down inside I truly wish you'd teach me to love again.
don't let me slip away
because day by day I feel myself changing
heart wants to become more cold & closed
I'd rather you fall for me hard before I fall in too deep.
I want to love again, I just don't know how. 💔
So please , teach me to love again.
- Qu'Raina Monaè