Are My Lungs Loyal To You?
The truth is, I truly believed that I couldn’t live with you. You were my everything; you had my everything.
Eleven days have passed in silence. There were some weak moments, yes; several, long moments when I felt like I was falling apart. My heart was set ablaze with lingering pain and anxiety. I was grieved, not wanting to move, wanting to stay in my dreams. It wasn’t true as long as I was asleep.
But I didn’t raise my voice. Once -just once- I cursed my heart for feeling so deeply, but I quickly realized that I was a fool to do so. I must always feel, and there is growth beyond the fog of pain.
The naked truth is, I can live without you. I can smile without you. I can still laugh, and forget for a second what I’m missing. I do miss you, and I miss who I was with you, but-
I so desperately want to be more than somebody who loved, who loves deeply.
Have I moved on? No.
But, I want to.
And I think, for now,
that is enough.
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