I'm not alright
Every day is a fight
I pray my mind
Won't win this time
It's just one of those days
Where I'm not okay
Nobody will ask about it
Cuz they'll never know about it
Fake face on and full throttle
I don't talk I just bottle
Till I get home and my head throbs
Even me breaks down and sobs
Everything up inside my mind
Until the pain trickles down my spine
I'd say the place I open up most
Is right inside these little poems
But even here I have a filter
Thoughts far too dark that fill my brain
To let them go, I'd loose my sane

When I get home
I go to work
Not for pay and a wage
For my future phase
For a future family, I might never have
Because I can't let them be, what I am now
For a future self, I hope will keep this path
For a future love, that I might never have
For learning all, they would never teach
To be the best, for that possible fam
For that image held, inside my head
I could die alone, it'd all be a sham
Nonetheless I will do, all that I can

I need help
All my strength getting smelt
The war inside myself
Putting my future on the shelf
Fell to tell not to ring the bell
So to no one ever will I tell
I don't want a sympathetic sell
Holding the key
Trapped in my pathetic cell
Because of my own shell
She'll leave me be, and go beseech
Where the grass is more, then my evergreens
So I will walk, through hell alone
Even when I'm taxed, with brittle bone
A filthy shift, I won't condone
So to society, I will get stoned
Sticks and stones, will break these bones
Sticks for beams
Stones as concrete
Blood the drywall
Sweat the pool
My bones to break
They will not forsake
And with those pieces
I'll build my home
Maybe one day
Not to be alone

© A.ShortzJr.