Yeah it's me, only'n'only me
gasping and fearing of failure,
sitting in the corner of dimly-lit desolate room,
Doin' nothing, literally nothing
just sitting here in this chamber,
and contemplating the unknown that lies ahead.

will I be able to stand on my feet, financially?
will I be able to pay bills on my own some day?
will I be able to shed the light of joy on my parents?
will I be able to pour sprinkles of holiness on someone?

heart whispers,
no you can't, just give it up
You lost all your time,
you lost all your money,
you lost everyone's faith,
you fuckin' lost all of your fame;
you lost dreams and chances,
you lost love and friendship,
just by ignoring your goals;
I say you lost everything.

Then suddenly, brain calls out
You have a chance , my boy;
you have rest of your life left,
you have your mamma daddy's faith;
fame is temporary,
if you can still achieve it by your name;
you can do it, just do it already.

yet, i sulk at my position
thinkin' of all my past actions,
thinkin' of my parents advices,
No... no... I didn't listen up to them;
I faked them all, fooled their believes
I wove a tapestry of lies and deceit,
Now, crying aloud to bring back
all of my losted achievements.

My life is now a single person in boat
who is surrounded by numbered pirate ships,
no hope, no chance of living;
even if brain says you can escape
his mere paralysis restricts him.

my tears flowing down my eyes
but now has no value behind them,
Like the existence of ropeless skipping rope;
literally noone to soak watery eyes up,
I'm crying, howling all alone
devoid of uplifting companionship,
No voice for , none to cheer me up.

my brain is stuck in a puzzle,
puzzle which is unsolvable
which has no end, no start;
only and only roaming round and round,
yet I can't figure it out.

My dreams, once vibrant ships sailing on hope's ocean,
now lie wrecked upon the shores of despair.

Like a solitary star, I wander through the vast night sky,
yearning for a constellation to call my own.

Life's puzzle, a labyrinth of mirrored corridors,
reflecting my doubts and fears at every turn.

My tears, a river of shattered promises,
carving a path through the barren landscape of my heart.

The weight of regret hangs upon my shoulders like an anchor,
dragging me deeper into the depths of solitude.

yeah, today I'm alone, solitude covering me,
living all alone, noone who takes care
embracing the solitude that envelops me
and dark corner of vaccumed room
and will eventually also die alone.

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